Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

April 24, 2014

VALLEY: A bunch of stuff to ponder, 'yet t'again'

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal — Did you ever notice that when someone roots for a baseball team other than the NY Yankees, they make a point of telling you how much they hate the Yankees?

I’ve mentioned this before, but why is that? Yankee fans have that rivalry thing going on with Boston, but not with the same degree of intense venom that non-Yankee fans have against them.

How can Time Warner advertise those introductory deals explaining the low cost of getting cable TV and fail to mention (where you can actually read it) that the price they are flashing doesn’t include the “equipment” and “fees”?

Quite simply, you can not get cable TV for the price they are showing you in bold letters. It’s like a car dealer telling you that you can get a brand new truck for a certain price and then, as you agree to it, they surreptitiously add the cost of the motor.

Does it bother anyone else when Donald Sutherland does the voice-over for the Delta “Up” commercial and instead of saying “... we up it, yet again” he says “... we up p’it yet t’again”?

Maybe I’m just getting sensitive in my older age, but I’m of the opinion that carrying the last letter of one word over to the first letter of the next one has a snooty sensibility about it. And, on a personal, level, one ‘p’ at a time is more than I can handle. (I have nothing for the double ‘t’.)

I’ll bet you ten bucks that every time you see a picture of Donald Trump, he has his mouth open.

How can Subway say they “invented” something new — the Flatizza — when it’s nothing more than flat bread, a.k.a. pizza dough, covered with a tomato sauce, cheese and pepperoni? I don’t know, but it sounds a little like ... mmm, maybe … pizza! C’mon Subway, call it what it is. And you didn’t invent it – Al Gore did.

What’s next? Is Papa John’s breaking out a new invention that entails using a 10-inch long bread-roll, sandwiched with various meats, cheeses and tomatoes and calling it the “submarizza”?

Do you realize that if you followed the advice of every medicine commercial you saw on TV and asked your doctor if their product was right for you, you’d have to spend almost as much time with your doctor as you did in the waiting room?

I’ve also questioned this practice in the past: Did you ever wonder why it is that when a fan runs onto the field during a baseball game, the cameras refuse to show it? The cameras turn to the players and the fans in the stands and it’s obvious, by the looks of delight on their faces, that we are missing out on something amusing. They are all pointing and laughing – which differs profoundly from the usual yawning and wearisome lack-of-interest-expressions we are used to seeing.

Why not share the fun with with the viewing audience? It would be a nice change of pace.

The reason they don’t show it – so say those in charge – is because they don’t want to set an example and encourage copycats. Yet, I guarantee you, if there was a breaking news story, in which someone went berserk and killed people, that same network would cut to it in a heartbeat and show you every video they had surrounding the tragedy, over and over.

Isn’t it odd how they are not concerned about people copying atrocities from the news or their crime-dominated TV programs, but a baseball game ...?

I could be wrong. Perhaps an unwarranted jaunt across a field is a heinous crime. So thanks, oh mighty networks, for being the self-appointed guardians of our welfare.

And thanks for putting on “Family Guy” and stuff like that if there’s a rain delay. I’m sure that 10-year-olds are much better off watching that than taking the chance of seeing a guy run across a grassy field in a moment of carefree levity.

That’s the way it looks from the Valley.

Tom Valley is a Medina resident. Contact him at tvalley@rochester.rr.com.