Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

Columns

November 22, 2012

FROM THE VALLEY: What is happening and where am I?

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal — Perhaps all that Mayan-calendar hullabaloo — about the December 21 end-of-the-world (as we know it) scenario — has some merit to it, after all. Have you heard the tragic news? Twinkies – that fine concoction of edible, fun-loving, life-threatening fluff — will soon be as extinct as the nickel candy bar. Alas, poor Yorick … and me, too.

Believe it or not, I can remember when and where I was when I first tasted this delectable treat. My brother, Tim, and I were with a friend of ours by the name of Mike Roach; Mike was amazed that my twin and I – at the ripe old age of 10 — had never heard of, let alone eaten, Twinkies.

He (our friend) proceeded to take some empty soft-drink bottles (that’s what we called them in northern NY) into Al Russell’s corner grocery store for the cash deposit; he forked back 20 cents of the loot and purchased two packages of these succulent treats for the three of us to share. Truly, a savory revelation. (Extraneous information provided solely for the purpose of credibility.)

But the taste-sensation was … oh-h-h my … excuse me while I enjoy the flashback. I’ve been hooked on this hippie-staple ever since that life-changing moment. It was an epiphany of major culinary delight.

Speaking of credibility ... moments after I wrote the above paragraphs, my daughter and two grandchildren came bursting in. As God is my witness, she came through the door carrying two plastic bags full of Hostess products.

“Did you know they are going to quit making Twinkies?” she said, incredulous at the thought of a Twinkie-less world. She was only a half-a-click less flabbergasted than I was at her timing.

“Wow! This is unbelievable!” I stammered. “I’m writing about that very topic right now.”

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