Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

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December 14, 2012

VINCENT DAVIS: How Amazon ruined Christmas

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal — If you follow the news in any format closely enough you are bound to find at least one story about a “War on Christmas.”

It might be about an elementary school teacher who “Grinches out” and casts doubts regarding the validity of this ‘Santa’ character in the minds of their young students, or angry back and forth between people who don’t feel comfortable with how close a living nativity scene is to their homes and the diehard live nativity fans of the world.

These articles will all point the finger at some group or team or conspiracy. But in reality, Christmas’ most formidable enemy is none other than the behemoth that is online shopping and their reigning king, AMAZON.com.

As a child I remember how wonderful it felt to walk into a mall that had literally been turned into a winter wonderland complete with indoor trains and trees taller than I was. When I was a cool tween/teen I enjoyed complaining about being embarrassed by my family when we went on shopping trips, but I hoped to someday be like my hero, Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie “Jingle All the Way,” fighting through the holiday shopping crowds and eventually reconciling with my nemesis, Sinbad.

But here I am sitting in my living room trying to figure out the absolute latest day I can buy everything on my Amazon wish list and still have it shipped to my family before Christmas.

You used to have to bundle up, drive through at least one snow storm, and get in a screaming match with someone’s mom in the parking lot before you could even get inside the store to start shopping. Look at me now, I’m half way through my shopping list and I’ve been wearing nothing but sweatpants and free t-shirts from 5k’s I didn’t run all month.

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