Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

August 29, 2013

And it's only make believe

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal — I’m a football fan, but I have never gotten into the “fantasy football” mania that seems to be so popular these days. It’s too labor-intensive for me.

Recliner-chair reptiles, such as myself, want to sit back and have the game brought to us. Anxiously checking the scroll at the bottom of the TV during an exciting game, to see how many yards Biff “Show-me” D’ Jewelery got, isn’t my cup of tea.

Personally, I think it dilutes the main product. (Not to mention the work involved.)

Now I know this will rankle the feathers of those who love to play this make-believe game — I suppose there’s nothing wrong with having the delusional fixation of being a general manager. Hmmm, after saying that, I wonder ... — but I get perturbed when looking for scores to see how the other teams are doing and the announcers feel compelled to stalemate that process by reporting how each player did (as it ascertains to fantasy football).

It’s like they (the announcers) have lost perspective of the bigger picture. Actually, the only picture: the scores and league standings. 

I can’t help but wonder if participating make-believers are forced to root against their own favorite teams because of conflicts of interest. Priorities must run amok.

In my opinion, because fantasy football is singularly intimate and, yet, diverse in its probabilities, sharing it on the same stage as the NFL (scores) is ridiculous. Subjective interests, with no shared commonality, should be disassociated from the legitimate entity from which it sprang. At least in its reporting. I’m not saying eliminate it. I’m saying separate it. 

Reporting both on the same program clutters that show’s agenda. Why not report the stock market as long as fantasy football is reported? After all, it’s even more real. There’s no “fantasy” involved.

And seriously, have you ever seen a bumper sticker or team pennant hanging in some guy’s man-cave that says, “Bob’s Team”? Someone else’s priorities are as interesting as listening to their dreams: “I had the craziest dream last night! You wouldn’t believe what happened!” Oh-oh! Warning, warning! Total boredom dead ahead! Please make every effort to simulate interest. Move face muscles and utter “Really?!”

When I told my friend Russ, an avid fantasy-football participant, that I was writing this column, he mentioned that I was too “closed-minded.” I reminded Russ that I’d have nothing to write about if I had an open mind. 

I mentioned that I liked the real deal as far as football was concerned. I was a Buffalo Bills fan – and my sole attention was geared at watching them make a playoff run this year.

Russ remarked, “And you said you didn’t like fantasy football?!”

“Never mind that,” I shot back, “I think my dream is finally going to come true this year.”

Russ raised his eyebrows, scrunched his face and smirked. “Really?”

Hey! Wait a second.

And that’s the way it looks from the Valley.

Tom Valley is a Medina resident. Contact him at tvalley@rochester.rr.com.