Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

Columns

June 9, 2013

HOPKINS: A life-saver, no butts about it

(Continued)

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal —

I shared my upcoming appointment with my Facebook friends. It’s not that bad, one friend offered. Yes it is, replied another.

The all-liquid diet allowed for Jell-o and sherbet. Coffee was also permitted, along with clear soft drinks and clear broth. Curiously, red and purple products are to be avoided. My sister said the broth and sherbet makes it a lot easier to get through the day. She was right.

I took a half day off from work Thursday. At 4 p.m. I took the tablets. Nothing, At 6 p.m., I started on the Gatorade. I used some advise that the doctor’s office gave me: drink it a glass at a time, every 15 minutes.

It wasn’t that bad. It still tasted like Gatorade, but with a little aftertaste and something I can’t quite describe. I was fine until about 9 p.m., when I jumped off the couch and headed toward the bathroom. At 4:30 a.m., I awoke and chugged the last of the Gator-lax and went back to bed. The alarm went off at 7.

My wife dropped me off at the hospital for my 8 a.m. appointment and they took me in right away. I was set up with an I.V. and a nurse told me that the medication he was going to give me was “like drinking half a case of beer without the hangover.” I asked if I could get a couple of them “to-go.” There were also jokes about my name associated with the famous medical school in Baltimore.

I was told not to drive for 24 hours, and I might have some amnesia. Considering what was about to be done to me, I figured that wasn’t a bad thing. The nurse explained to me that he heard of a guy who was taken home by his wife after the procedure and then awoke in the afternoon to find two snowmobiles parked in the driveway. Where did they come from, he asked his wife. She told him he made her stop on the way home and he bought them. The man didn’t remember any of that.

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