Published: June 14, 2008 08:55 pm            

DRINKWALTER: Dads stepping up to the plate

As Father’s Day approached, I began thinking about how fathers can help us change the way we confront situations by stepping up to plate when needed. (And backing off when needed as well, I suppose.) Their help can make or break decisions we make and sure can make our lives easier. When Paul and I were first married, we rented the lower flat of a house in Lockport. I mentioned the house before; it had charming tin ceilings in the living and dining room that were installed during the blasting of the Erie Canal.

Above us, in the two-family home lived a nice elderly man of Italian descent that spoke very broken English. We rented the apartment from his son who lived nearby. The slight figured man would often teeter down the stairs and tap softly on our door and come in to visit with us. He would always begin the conversation the same way. “I go to senior citizens and danca danca.” We will never forget his cute little shuffling movements and hand gestures when he said “danca danca.” He has long passed away but the fond memories remain.

The kitchen was a tiny Pullman style with a refrigerator, a stove and a sink with a few overhead cupboards. Back then, Paul’s dad stepped up to the plate and built a counter around the sink and my dad built us a free standing wooden counter with small wooden blocks on one side that served as a cutting board and across the bottom, he built two rows of shelves on which to store food. He also built some wooden stools so we could sit at the counter in the kitchen. All this was for our comfort and convenience. (We still have the free standing cupboard and stools and are using them again in our tiny kitchen.)

Paul’s dad also built us a picnic table so we could enjoy picnics in the backyard of that property. There was a nice old fire pit that we would cook out on many a summer’s day.

Before moving in, I painted both the bathroom and kitchen chocolate brown and beige. That was quite a popular color scheme back in the 1970s. Imagine my surprise when a few weeks ago I began painting the bathroom in our daughter’s house chocolate brown and white. As Yogi Berra said, “This is like déjà vu all over again!” (I didn’t have the heart to tell her when I painted the chocolate brown on the trim back in the day, it chipped easily and noticeably and I was constantly touching up the paint job.)

Anyway, while I painted, my husband worked tirelessly putting in a new shower surround, new ceiling fan lights in the living and dining rooms and replacing old electric receptacles. Doing so helped insure the comfort and safety of his daughter and son-in-law to be.

Obviously there are more ways of stepping up and helping our kids than building thing; not every dad is a home improvement guru like Carter Oosterhouse. (My heart be still!) The spiritual, emotional or financial supports are equally as important. Sometimes I’ve found that just being there to lend an ear counts as stepping up to the plate for our kids.

Some people might think that by stepping up so often, we are helping coddle our kids for too long, but I disagree. And in our family’s case, it looks like the bat didn’t fall far from the home plate.

Let’s not forget to thank our dads (and moms) for making running the bases and sliding into home a little bit easier.

Deb Drinkwalter is a Lockport resident. Her column appears every Sunday. Send comments to d.drinkwalter@yahoo.com.

        

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