Published: July 11, 2008 02:46 pm            

DADDY'S GIRL: The art of 'me, me, me'

An international survey recently found “the,” “of” and “to” to be the most-often used words in the English language.

Not to knock anyone, but these people clearly don’t have children.

At least in this scribe’s case, those words don’t approach the top-ranked words: “Not in your mouth.”

Penny may soon get confused and think that’s her nickname, based on how often it’s used in our household of late. I said it so much during a recent shopping trip (Penny was trying to chew on the child restraints in the cart) that other shoppers probably thought I lost my mind.

Not the case, my friends. Rather, this sweet child of mine is simply getting a mind of her own.

Another example: We were cuddling the other morning bed — one of our household’s rituals is to have a couple minutes together most days before Penny’s bath time — and Penny became obsessed with my nose. Like E.T. reaching out with his illuminated finger, she kept slowly creeping her hand toward my nose with her stubby index finger pointed out.

And each time, she tried to cram it as far up my nostril as it would go.

I’d tell her no gently and pull her hand away, but it would snap back like the arm on an ’80s action figure and again make its way to my nasal nether regions.

Struggles like this — as cute as some of them are — are more common as Penny’s development continues. She’s learned to throw tantrums when I stop letting her play with my belt because she won’t stop putting it in her mouth, and she seems to realize that she can “go cute” on us with a smile and a flittering of the eyes, and there’s a chance we’ll go easy on her.

She’s also developing a self-defense vocabulary, such as blurting out “I’m the baby” mid-crying session in an effort to get her way. Mommy’s a bit tougher than I am at holding out, but neither of us can resist laughing when she does something like this — which, in turn, often makes Penny chortle.

When words fail, it sometimes just takes a sound to convey her point. When I pull my head away so she stops biting my ear, for example, she gives me a remorseful squint and a half-pained “mmmmmm” groan, sometimes throwing in a “hi Daddy” to win me over.

Penny can still be distracted from what she can’t have with another toy, but it’s tougher to sidetrack her with each passing day. She knows what she wants, she wants it now and she presses the right buttons with the main man in her life to make things happen.

She — oh, goodness — is becoming a woman.

Discipline will become more of an obstacle in the coming months, as Penny will only continue to develop a me-track mind. If Mommy and I stick to our guns (rather, if I stick to Mommy’s guns), things should turn out perfectly.

If not, it’s only a matter of time until some concerned shopper has me committed.

Contact editor Paul Laneat 693-1000, ext. 116,or lanep@gnnewspaper.com.

        

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