Published: April 14, 2008 03:33 pm            

WHITE-WALKER: Sunshine and smiles — how dare she

Sure we all have personality flaws and traits that make others wish you were never born — in their lifetime anyway. But we were, they were, so let’s be reminded of the 6th commandment — Thou Shall Not Kill. I mean, there are those out there who could give you a cerebral hemorrhage, and that’s just by looking at them. I’m not referring to physicality here, because that’s not how you measure a person’s worth. I’m referring to what radiates from the inside out and let me tell you, it ‘ain’t’ all milk and honey oozing out of those pores. Ya got those mopey dopey drips that drag everybody down with their ‘I hate the human race’ sneer. It’s enough to challenge the law of gravity — try catching them floating in outer space with all that gloom and doom — they’ll drop like rocks! Okay, so life has repeatedly kick them in the shins and they’d never pose as a poster ‘child’ for “It’s A Wonderful Life,” but at least they’re still alive! And that gives way to hope, always- glorious hope.

This is embarrassing to admit, and I don’t appreciate it one bit, but there are actually co-workers who have accused me of being a phony all because I, and get this, all because I try to be upbeat and smile more than my share.

“She can’t be that happy, they’ll whisper behind my back, but what do they expect me to do, walk around like Eliot Spitzer — after the fall? (He didn’t fall, he crashed!) I choose to be like David Paterson, self-deprecating and hopefully refreshing.

How about those inconsistent creeps who are all hugs and hi’s one day, and the next day they act like you’ve just escaped from a leper colony, they can’t even look at you. Boy, does my nervous system ever welcome those who are pretty much on an even keel every day. Know anybody like that?

And do you ever become petrified to utter those three little words to those over 55? They claim many people are afraid to say, “I love you,” but don’t believe it. I’m shaking to say, “How are you?” because I get a litany of aches, pains, past operations and future operations. I deeply care about people, I really do, but what makes them think we need a detailed description of every symptom? They obviously do.

“Many are just lonely souls starving for attention,” my doctor friend informed me.

“Damn right they’re lonely because they scare everybody away with their sicknesses, real or imaginary. How can you stand it?” I asked.

“It’s my vocation and I do get paid to listen, you know.”

“Well, I get paid writing about you getting paid so life really can be fair,” I smiled. Did I just say I smiled? Some will be terribly resentful of me, you know.

How about those who always top your own harrowing experiences? “I was in labor for 12 hours with my firstborn,” I meekly shared with someone.

“A mere 12 hours? That’s nothing. I was in excruciating pain for 31 hours!”

Or, “I visited my aunt in the nursing home for three hours.”

“Three hours?” they’ll bellow. “ Why bother? I visited my uncle there for six!”

Do you ever struggle with people who are so captivating and charming to the outside world, but brother Jack, you better duck when you catch them within the confines of their four walls. It’s unrealistic to be bearable all the time, but shouldn’t we strive to give our best to those we love the most? Yes, I’ve been chastised for targeting my husband in my columns (mainly by him), but my objective is to present real life and well, what man is perfect? Are any women, children or lives perfect? Is this writing perfect? Five choices, and none can really be answered with a yes. No need to smile now.

Karen White-Walker is a Wilson resident. Her column appears every Tuesday.

        

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