Published: July 21, 2008 02:11 pm            

WALKER: You asked for it

Readers are ‘begging’ me to write more about my relatives. Can you believe it?

“My own family doesn’t seem so crazy now after ‘meeting’ your crew,” exclaimed one man.

Not all my readers are so complimentary. One person went so far as to write, “You make me sick because you think everybody in your family is soooo special, but you’ve never met mine!”

If they’re anything like her, I don’t want to meet them. She sounds so angry, her relationships can’t be THAT good. But one thing is certain — as human beings we all laugh, cry, regret, rejoice and stupidly ask the futile question why? Such is the case of one of my closest cousins. He’s dreadfully smart, disgustingly good-looking and wittier than most — I hate him. That’s not true — I love him. His only cross in life is that he’s gay. I’m saying it’s a cross because he didn’t want to be gay, he ignored the urges, he prayed to God and all the heavenly saints that he wouldn’t be gay, but guess what? He’s gay. If it wasn’t “natural” for him to be that way, why weren’t his prayers answered that he’d be straight? There’s that word why, see how stupid it sounds? Well, over 50 years ago this cousin fled to New York City because he didn’t want his parents’ stroke to be on his conscience if they found out. He felt he couldn’t tell anyone, and in his shame and confusion, he ran like a man without a country. But was he really a man, he wondered? I guess so few ‘came out of the closet’ back then.

Today this cousin lives on the 26th floor of a penthouse in Manhattan, owns a home on the west coast and some “shack” in Europe. But really, why did I even mention that since that has nothing to do with his worth as a human being? What does give an insight into his character is when he invited me to stay with him when I had to go to New York City for a month. We knew each other, but we didn’t know each other, if you know what I mean. We went to dinner, the theatre, the opera and a few nightclubs, and if he wasn’t my cousin, if he wasn’t gay, and I wasn’t married, I could have fallen for him. Not the least bit feminine (It’s so terrible to stereotype) he embodies all that’s good, sensitive and classy. He makes me want to read every word in The New York Times so, just like him; I can be abreast to all that is happening in the world. I don’t even know what’s happening in my own town, family or house! In conversation his sexual orientation came up, and that’s when I learned how he had prayed not to be different.

“According to the Bible, my soul is doomed,” he told me. “Yet I had no say in the matter — I am what I am.”

“Hold it right there!” I interrupted, “that sounds so familiar — I am what I am. Where did I hear it before?”

“It’s a hit song from ‘La Cage Au Folles.’ ”

“Isn’t that the gay play with all the transvestites?”

“Damnit Karen, you’re missing the point! I’m talking about the moral aspect of being gay and you’re turning it into a Broadway play.”

This is where I had to get a little uppity with him. “Well excuse me, Mr. Who-Doesn’t-Have-An-In -With-Anybody-In-Heaven, but I AM in the theatre, you know.”

“By choice you’re in the theatre. For some, I’m a ‘freak of nature’ and when I meet my Maker I’m going to take issue with Him.”

“You’re going to argue with God?!!” I nearly collapsed on the concrete.

(To be continued)

Karen White-Walker is a Wilson resident. Her column appears every Tuesday.

        

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