Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

Opinion

November 2, 2012

VINCENT DAVIS: America: World's largest t-shirt cannon

(Continued)

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal — A triumph of engineering involving thirty pipes, numerous tubes and four CO2 tanks, Bella is the perfect mix of excellence in mathematics and construction, the “bigger is better” ethos that we embraced when inventing the SUV, and the “Why do it? Because why not” attitude that has driven so much of generations X and Y.

In recent months Japan has made attempts to reach an American level of ridiculousness in product promotions with the 1,000 pieces of bacon burger I mentioned in a past article and more recently a one-price-fits all promotion on all sizes of McDonalds fries that has resulted in teens pooling their money to buy massive orders of fries. It’s great to see our friends overseas learning from our example, but they don’t have it quite right.

While they are taking things to America-esque extremes they’re forgetting what has always been at the heart of American industry: Providing a service you didn’t even know you needed. Need to whip a mass of fans into frenzy? Need to distribute Red Cross T-shirts to hundreds of recent hurricane victims as soon as possible? Big Bella. Prior to the BB t-shirt launcher the industry standard was a measly twenty shirts per minute maximum. In one fell swoop we took it five levels higher.

No matter who wins the elections next remember: the President didn’t invent the T-shirt cannon, America did, and we’re never more than a few tubes and CO2 tank away from being on top as a nation once again.

Vincent Davis II is a Cornell graduate, DJ, and market development specialist in the IT industry. His column appears on the first and third Friday of every month. He can be contacted at vincedavis06@gmail.com

Text Only
Opinion
Featured Ads
Photos


Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter
Front page
AP Video
Ariz. Inmate Dies 2 Hours After Execution Began Crash Kills Teen Pilot Seeking World Record LeBron James Sends Apology Treat to Neighbors Raw: Funeral for Man Who Died in NYPD Custody Migrants Back in Honduras After US Deports Israeli American Reservist Torn Over Return Raw: ISS Cargo Ship Launches in Kazakhstan Six Indicted in StubHub Hacking Scheme Former NTSB Official: FAA Ban 'prudent' EPA Gets Hip With Kardashian Tweet Bodies of MH17 Victims Arrive in the Netherlands Biden Decries Voting Restrictions in NAACP Talk Broncos Owner Steps Down Due to Alzheimer's US, UN Push Shuttle Diplomacy in Mideast Trump: DC Hotel Will Be Among World's Best Plane Crashes in Taiwan, Dozens Feared Dead Republicans Hold a Hearing on IRS Lost Emails Raw: Mourners Gather As MH17 Bodies Transported Robot Parking Valet Creates Stress-free Travel Raw: Fight Breaks Out in Ukraine Parliament
Seasonal Content
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
AP Video
Ariz. Inmate Dies 2 Hours After Execution Began Crash Kills Teen Pilot Seeking World Record LeBron James Sends Apology Treat to Neighbors Raw: Funeral for Man Who Died in NYPD Custody Migrants Back in Honduras After US Deports Israeli American Reservist Torn Over Return Raw: ISS Cargo Ship Launches in Kazakhstan Six Indicted in StubHub Hacking Scheme Former NTSB Official: FAA Ban 'prudent' EPA Gets Hip With Kardashian Tweet Bodies of MH17 Victims Arrive in the Netherlands Biden Decries Voting Restrictions in NAACP Talk Broncos Owner Steps Down Due to Alzheimer's US, UN Push Shuttle Diplomacy in Mideast Trump: DC Hotel Will Be Among World's Best Plane Crashes in Taiwan, Dozens Feared Dead Republicans Hold a Hearing on IRS Lost Emails Raw: Mourners Gather As MH17 Bodies Transported Robot Parking Valet Creates Stress-free Travel Raw: Fight Breaks Out in Ukraine Parliament
Seasonal Content
Helium debate
Helium
Section Teases

Seasonal Content
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.