Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

Opinion

July 10, 2014

VALLEY: The impact of "we've got to talk!"

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal — Aside from catastrophic news, perhaps the worst thing a guy can hear from his wife is when she says, “We’ve got to talk!” (The wife and husband roles in this article could easily be reversed … according to my wife. Yeah, fine.)

When a guy hears “we’ve got to talk” he immediately knows that his comfort zone is in danger. That sense of routine that he has ingrained into his daily life is about to come under scrutiny. It’s not going to be good news.

“We’ve got to talk!” is never followed by something like, “Why don’t you turn the dining room into your own your man cave” or “I think you should drink more beer.” Oh no, that’s not how things roll in a we’ve-got-to-talk world.

When a guy hears “we’ve got to talk,” his brain signals a we-interrupt-your-way-of doing-things bulletin. His heartbeat accelerates, he finds it hard to swallow and there’s a 10-second pause before he can even think to respond. A 10-second pause that seems like an eternity as every possible scenario zips through his brain. He’s searching for a clue as to what is about to happen and why.

That seemingly innocuous, little, four-word statement, “we’ve got to talk,” has all the earmarks of changing his world — and any change is a big change. Is this the end of his “me-first-without-you-noticing-it empire”?

Could it be that she’s onto him? And what could have given him away? Maybe it was the rototiller he gave her for their anniversary. Or the monogrammed snow-shovel at Christmas. It’s hard to tell. Possibly, the subscription to the Playboy Channel for her birthday? Who knows?

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