Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

November 29, 2012

FROM THE VALLEY: It's unreal what a little tweak will do

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal — I never let things bother me. Well actually, there are those rare occasions when something gets to me. Okay, most of the time, I’m all worked up about something. There I said it. Happy?

But, seriously, it’s no secret that we are living in a topsy-turvy society. We live in a day and age when something called fantasy football is real and reality-TV is fantasy. How can someone like myself ever settle in when the world is constantly throwing me curve-balls? Just when I get comfortable with the way things are, it changes.

I’m not saying it’s time to press the panic button simply because “Jersey Shores” is no more credible than a Wile E. Coyote autobiography — but it does send up warning signals that one shouldn’t always take things at face value – at least, for any length of time. In light of this, I’ve come to the conclusion that with a little thought and a few tweaks we can – at least, try to — adapt to these events that skew what we deem normal in our own little universe.

I was watching the Buffalo Bills game the other day. They were coming off an unbelievable winning streak: they’d won one in a row. I figured we (I like to use ‘we’ when the Bills win) were on our way to the playoffs. Woo-hoo! Super Bowl, here we come!

And then, just like that — this past Sunday — the streak ended. ‘They’ lost. Their run of good luck was over. And I don’t use the word ‘luck’ flippantly. (I swear, I don’t know how the Buffalo Bills are able to walk around considering the number of times they’ve managed to shoot themselves in the foot.)

As usual, after a Bills loss there is absolutely no wind in my sails. I’m an optimist at the opening kickoff – I expect a victory every game. When they lose I’m as unprepared as an atheist at the Pearly Gates. It gets to the point where I can’t watch another NFL game – at least, on that day. So this past Sunday, I switched over and watched the Canadian Football League’s championship game – the Grey Cup.

Now here’s the deal: what got me is how effective the Bills would be in that league. In the Canadian game, you can have guys in motion all over the place — because off-sides doesn’t seem to matter — and even an inefficient quarterback with the arm strength of Mahatma Gandhi isn’t an impediment to success. I swear (not really) that the QBs in this game couldn’t pass dinner rolls to Aunt Maude at a family reunion.

The tweak: As far as I’m concerned, the threat of Buffalo moving to Toronto isn’t a bad move at all – as long as they can get into the CFL. The only change would be that we’d have to switch the “eh (ay)” around when we speak. Instead of the NY-style “Eh, how about them Bills?” it would be the Canadian “How about them Bills, eh?” A minor tweak for a contender. Fair trade.

Winning a championship? Unreal!

And that’s the way it looks from the Valley.

Tom Valley is a Medina resident. His column appears every Thursday. Contact him at tvalley@rochester.rr.com.