Published: July 16, 2008 02:42 pm            

VALLEY: Water everywhere - not a drop in the sink

A column or two ago, I mentioned something to the effect that sometimes there are situations that appear funny IF they are happening to someone other than yourself. With that in mind, I tell you this story because it happened to me and not to you.

I arrived at our vacation spot a couple of weeks ago full of anticipation and excitement. This was going to be the time of our lives. To make a long story short: My wife and I purchased a camp this year on the St. Lawrence River that was located on property that she had recently inherited. The previous camp-owner had leased the land from my wife’s family while he was there. It was two doors down from the family-owned and shared camp that we usually stayed in. But this was going to be different — this one was ours!

My wife, in an apparent pre-vacation training program, came down with a severe case of poison ivy just before we were scheduled to make the trip north. And being the loving, considerate husband that I am, I told her that I was going to go ahead without her and “I’ll see you when you get there.”

Understand that at the camp the running water to the faucets and shower is river water. It’s hooked up annually in the spring and drained in the fall (Drinking water is hauled in separately).

The guy who I had bought the camp from promised to show me when I got there how to get the water pump working and the plumbing up and running. Quite frankly, he stiffed me and never showed up. I had his verbal commitment and he, unfortunately, already had my money. Phone calls went to no avail.

You know what? Here’s how I feel: Integrity has no fee, it costs nothing. It’s free! It’s not only the best investment a person can make, it’s also the most treasured asset a man can have. Too bad this guy didn’t realize the value of one’s word. Sermon’s over!

Nonetheless, there I was with my dog, Henry, and right out of the starting gate we had a significant problem. What do I do? Even though I felt like a I was imposing (which I was), I called my brother-in-law, Bill. Bill’s been a regular river-rat his whole life. He’s a crackerjack at these types of situations. In a matter of moments, he was there — graciously willing to help.

After surveying the situation, he deemed it necessary to make a trip to the city to get the proper plumbing supplies. We had a list of what we needed. Now, understand that this store has about 32,000 different plumbing elbows, unions, joints and what-nots. And each one comes in various materials and several thousand sizes — BUT, do you think we could find the one we needed? Not!

“Oh,” said the store clerk, “You need the B-59478 made from lunar dust configured into a semi-gizmatic artichoke.”

“Whatever. Better give us two in case I drop one in the river” I piped in, like I knew what I was talking about.

“Can’t!”

“Why not?”

“Ain’t been making ‘em since ‘62!” he explained. “Got lead or something in ‘em that the government reckons will kill ya. Fact is, even if I had one, I couldn’t sell it to ya.”

Alrighty then! Back to the drawing board.

My brother-in-law non-nonchalantly proceeded to pick out a couple of dozen gadgets — this guy could make a Saturn moon-rocket out of paper mache — and off we went. With only five return trips to the store, a mere 10 miles each time and in a torrential downpour, we finally got the plumbing job done — or so we thought.

Join me the next couple of weeks as I use this platform to therapeutically work out the issues I experienced and help me understand what the hell went wrong on my vacation. And why, every time I saw light at the end of the tunnel, it turned out to be an oncoming train.

And that’s the way it looks from the Valley.

Tom Valley is a Medina resident. His column runs every Thursday. For comments write to reganm@gnnewspaper.com.

        

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