Published: August 13, 2008 02:57 pm            

VALLEY: I give you my words

Before my column goes to print, I ask my wife, Kathie, to read it. If I see her wrinkle her brow, I immediately know that I have a speed-bump in the article that has to be eliminated. A “speed bump” is a term that I use when something interrupts the fluidity of the piece. My goal is to have her get through the article smoothly — without having to slow down to figure out what I'm talking about.

Quite often, I mistakenly take for granted that the reader is on the same page as I am and leave out integral parts or explanatory transitions to the story. This can be fatal to a column.

Sometimes I have to re-write sentences or completely eliminate them. A small tweak might be changing one word to something a tad more descriptive. Something that will give it a special edge.

That’s what I’m bringing to the table today: words. I like words but I’m miffed about what society has done to our language. I’m upset that some great words have been pillaged by select groups and adopted as their own. Understand, I have no objection to select groups, I just want the words back.

For instance: the Bible talked of martyrs who were “stoned” for their convictions; hippies in the ’60s and ’70s were “stoned” in a different way (and sometimes ended up with a different kind of conviction). The hippie-era also wasted three words on one item. And if memory serves me right, the words “grass,” “weed” and “pot” were all stolen because those doing the toking could not remember what they had called it a half-hour earlier.

There are some exceptions to the rule: Rapper Snoop Dog has invented words instead of copping existing ones. Ma-shizzle to the bro!

Other groups have confiscated words from our daily lexicon but the sensitivity-alarm reminds me not to go there. It would be politically incorrect to continue. It’s not that I don’t want to continue but my wife suggested that I not go there ... and she’s the queen of this household.

THAT, by the way, is another thing that annoys me to no end: politically correct. Our culture has been sabotaged by a group of self-appointed do-gooders in an attempt to force us to change the words we use — even if it’s at the expense of truth. We’re made to walk on egg shells and told not to say things that might offend someone.

I can understand diplomacy, tact and common courtesy but political correctness cannot be used as an interchangeable tool. It can distort the truth and mis-lead people from reality (Notice, I said “can”).

“Why this tirade about words?” you ask. Here’s why! One of my young grandsons was called into his grade-school principal’s office because of a word he used. He had used the word “noose” and was told that it was a racist word and, ergo, he was a racist for using it.

That’s the truth. My young grandson was called a racist by someone who hardly, if at all, knows him. It was agreed upon by all parties involved in this meeting that no intent or context of racism was used when he said it, but the word alone, as deemed by the principal, was enough to castigate him and brand him a racist.

Hogwash! Another fine example of “politically correct” gone awry. When we're taught to offer olive branches when none are called for, it camouflages real issues that need addressing. Eliminating common words from an elementary student’s vocabulary is a shallow approach to a much deeper problem.

On the lighter side, I draw your attention to the word: easy. It’s used as a descriptive word but one must exercise caution when dealing with something labeled as such. Thrown carelessly about, the word is presented as an objective point of view when it can be nothing else but subjective — much like most opinions.

For instance: I buy products that say “Easy to open.” Not for me! Bags of dog food, for example, have an arrow pointing to a string that says “Easy open.” Never works for me!

And have you ever seen those ads on television that say “Three easy payments of just $139?” Easy? A hundred and thirty nine dollars? That’s not easy for me — maybe, someone — but not me. I hate it when words are mis-placed or are used improperly. There's no excuse.

If they think three payments of $139 is easy, I’ve got noose for them!

And that’s the way it looks from the Valley.

Tom Valley is a Medina resident. His column runs every Thursday. Write to Tvalley@rochester.rr.com.

        

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